fear

fear is a powerful and sometimes not so obvious undercurrent in everything negative that exists in this world, like yoda said. just another reason he's a jedi. sometimes the best defense is an offense. appear strong when you are weak, weak when you are strong. that is not mine, it is sun tzu's revelation.

we are all just scared little bitches.

nkotb

old crushes die hard and this is a very old one. the first one in fact. donnie wahlberg was my one, the "bad boy" or however bad you can be and still belong to new kids on the block. saw their new video the other day and after all these years they still have it! all of a sudden i'm 10 again practicing kissing on their poster. hypothetically.

delete

this was a filler blog i wanted to delete in retrospect. but caveman me can't figure out how to unpublish, so i'll change the content.

ewww

what i write is o.g. and organic, but i've written 800+ blogs on myspace, and it's created a monster. my friend is trying to cop my style! and she's been writing more as if she's going to make it as a writer. but she's emulating me. like how the sugarhill gang got famous off of treachous trio's rhymes etc. oh gahd please no. it's sucking the writing from me like kagome takes kikyo's spirit. but this private blog place helps where i can vent... i kind of want to defriend her to gong her line with the new material because i keep it pop lockin fresh to death son.

nothing worse than a copy cat. monkey see monkey do. fucking monkey get off my back! *sneers in disgust*

and honestly the stuff she does write is pretty chester cheetah cheezy. shit i'd write back in the day before i knew better. and she's kind of a braggart, another thing that repels me from her blogs. yet i read them to see my influence and i see it. gag me.

they say imitation is the sinceriest form of flattery, but it just makes me feel claustrophobic. like can't listen to a song once it becomes popular to the masses. of sheep! baaa baaa you ewes! plus it's creepy and weird.

dude, get your own pizone. i've written that months ago. what makes you think i'm not going to notice?

i can't help but chuckle over the whole sordid affair. what to do about it!??

wow

there is no where to write my most intimate thoughts, for fear they will be uncovered and discovered, for anything written will become more pressing and real. that's why it's called press. things, thoughts and the intangible mutates on paper and it breathes life into the document. words are too powerful. i'm petrified to be discovered, yet eager to be healed by writing what is on my mind constantly. the thoughts haunt and beguile me.