é

i've finished my resumeeé, or resume as i think of it. resuming to the drawing board. i'm at the starting gates, and starting to feel like i'm going to be stuck there the whole race...losing hope...drowing...sucumbing...

faith and hope are strange things. not to mention kick ass names. i'm partial to virtue names. but having them (the feelings not the names) can really mess with you. it's anticipatory in nature, and it's the waiting that can kill you. do things happen because or despite of? does it punish or reward?

it plummets me in a familiar, temporary depression. what legacy will i leave? why am i here?