kudos

probably thee best blog on the web, check it out!


http://katnsatoshiinjapan.blogspot.com/

my fav

tokyo soul

everytime i try to erase anthony bourdain's no reservations episode about osaka, i can't do it. it makes me realize how i am kansai, yet i'm a tokyo soul.

driuzzunk

live and direct from las vegas: me!

so what the fuck. i went to dinner with a random couple and my little broseph justin and the hive is a buzzin with gossip galore. can't people be friends these days? he has a gf, i have a bf, it's all good. calm down peeps!!!!!!! there's nothing to it.

i'm a little grossed out that vegas was all up in my business and reporting on me and shit. somehow i feel like somebody's watching me.

look all you want, i'm not shady. damn gina!

2008

my teams have all been doing bad. across the board, all of them!

semi homemade cooking

the thing i love about sandra lee is her table scapes and cocktail time. you can tell she knocks one back everyday. kinda like a stepford wife. i never would have guessed her tough upbringing. the thing i don't like about her show is that the food doesn't get eaten in the end!!! wtf!!! it's anticlimatic. the shows i like the most are when they show people enjoying the food. it's my cheap porn.

4 souls

my eyes glaze over as voices become intangible. i must insulate and incubate myself within the hollow, delicate shell of a person that i am. if i feel things fully unfiltered i would shatter into a million silvers of the shikon jewel.

6

i've been tagged by no one to post "6 things about you" but am about to go off on a narcissistic tangent. ahh, narcissism, you're there when no one else was/is.

1. left handed and right brained.

2. addictive personality.

3. o pos bloodtype.

4. college graduate.

5. sansei.

6. foodie.

what the fizzy beezy?

homemade jokes

so i told my friend the joke i made up totally organic and he's been telling people and these people tell other people and so on and so forth, so if you hear the joke:

q: what did obi wan kenobi say to luke skywalker in the chinese restaurant?

a: "luke, use the fork"




i know, total lol. copywrite trademark pounce. one of my biggest contributions to the world so far. coming up with that joke. sigh

smaaaaaackkkkk

dude, why u gotta cop the same shit, and it's not the first time it's been pete and repeat. that's some single white female shit yo.

i'm tired of it. sick of it all. purge and cleanse!!!! rectify and redeem. my thoughts are becoming increasingly fragmented and skittish for survival sakes. in order to keep the status quo of sanity.

*

fragmented blogs. necessary like haiku. but will be deleted soon. poof into nothing but a cacheted memory. at times don't you want to disappear like tom hanks in that movie when he befriended a volleyball and worked for fedex. the title escapes me.

update 1145 pm: castaway right?

mt. hakurei

i'm going on a pilgrimage.

fantanstic voyage

life is a trip and then you die still trying to get a piece of that apple pie

weird. ok, i'll bite and docu it.

i tipped the waitress an extra dollar on purpose and cranked up the ipod. a test in karmaish. i knew i was going to get uncrac ked pocked aces the next hand. double up. hooty hoo!

i said before i left work about the purse i'd always admired and was at a record low price for one night only that if no one buys it and i win over $100 i have to buy it. both happened so i bought it. !@$!@#$@!#$

the vida is loca. i don't want anyone to know. they can't deal with the weirdness. it's my secret. you don't know the half of it. i can barely take it myself.

blogs are the new form of deep thoughts. the predecessor is haiku.
the granddaddy if you will. such!

robot chicken

lol @ the brown paper bags, fast food video game, 8 mile looney tunes

nature

inevitable. unavoidable. as the object get closer, they are immersed in a magnetic pull slamming them together. involuntary. a compelling, hypnotic force that consumes everything in its path. resistance is futile.

time passes. distance shortens. breathing quickens. smiles br0aden as things operate in a trance like state. a chess game ensues. a long, slow dance. the danger heightens as they brace for impact. there's no place to go. only collision. trapped by fate. recognition and resignation.

1941

year of the metal snake. a huge year for the suginoharas, good and bad. 4 baby snakes were added to the crew. my father and his cousins. after the blessings came the planes. it seemed to be all about the family on a egocentric level. hiroshima., honolulu. h town. all the players have hit close to home strangely. *raised eyebrow*

blog it out

everytime i feel torn up inside i know i have to blog it out. put it on epaper. get it out, push it out, way out. it's therapeutic.

incommunicado

every now and then i let my phone run out of battery and don't charge it for a few days or what not. disconnect from EVERYTHING, my life, EVERYTHING. it disturbs my friends and family, but it's so very necessary. essential towards my sanity. why is that?

woo HOO this game is exciting. live from stan sherriff idado state v hawaii overtime. let's go 'bows!!!

so there's a dilemma i've been having. lately i've been questioning if i'm too hard on people. i keeps it real. have you ever seen the dave chappelle skit "when 'keeping it real' goes wrong"? that's me. the keeping it realness and not faking the funk, i think i comes from the ffkk. i'm antibullshit. but the world runs on bullshit, so there in lies the problem. if i was a fake ass mutherfucker, i would be ahead in the "world" i.e. career wise. but the pit in my stomach makes me act up. it twists and turns when it comes to chauncey ass bitches.

there's this person that i have to deal with on a frequent basis that i have no respect for because they have proven time and time again that they are a lazy, lame ass, pass the buck, dregs of society waste of space. one of my friends has befriended them. their friendship with someone i have NO respect for has tainted my image of them. how can intelligent life forms be friends with that tripe? you are judged by the company you keep. i'm sorry, but it's not working for me.

i'd like to think i'm a tolerant person, but my reflexive physical aversion to this situation is making me wonder if i'm being too stringent. am i being a hardass? intolerant? me?!

in the words of robert nesta marley, "whoa time will tell, think you're in heaven, but you're living in hell..."

ffkk

kristina and i are the founding and only members of the ffkk - former fat kids klub (for life mutherfuckas!!! *flashing gang sign*).

being fat during the formative years is no cake walk. and as we all know, fat kids love cake.

thank goodness i went to an all girls elementary because if guys were mercilessly teasing me the ways the girls did i think i'd be a menace II society even more than i am now. i'd be in jail or dead. me against the world. the world is fucked up and cold, it's how you take it that makes all the difference. i have an inner anger i can identify and i'm scared of. rage against the machine.

so i loved food and had a problem with not eating it - so sue me. and my skinny counterparts did. they verbally trounced me for having a obvious love affair with food. but how could i blame them, it's survival of the "fittest" after all.

instead i ate all their insults. and it was bitter. it embittered me. and my inner rage, my anger that i can't control and scares even me comes from this. people have been shallow and horrible to me, and this chip on my shoulder is the result. mmm, chips. thug life!!!

changes

"although it seems heaven sent we aint ready to see a black president" - pac

when i read on yahoo at work that obama had won his historic election, this lyric flashed in my mind. we are at a point where we are ready. and only 12 years after pac's "death". the aloha state is the future of the world. we are the enlightened ones! even if he went to punahou!

it's like how clinton was starwars, bush was empire strikes back and obama's return of the jedi. lol.

but damn i REALLY wanted it to be obama/clinton. he was probably right in not choosing her, look at what happened to mccain. i know hilary and sarah aren't the same level of candidate, but you know what i mean. c'mon, you know. don't make like you don't. no make ah!

what i mean is the voter isn't responsive to women candidates yet, am i right to assume? the race barrier in american politics has been broken before gender lines are transparent


'

compton

even though they were the ones being dissed, i bet you even snoop and dre couldn't deny the sheer brilliance of "real mutherfuckin gs". the first time they heard it they were probably smiling and shaking their head thinking "that motherfucker...." an iconic battle song and one of eazy's sickest late in his career. if i were a fighter in the mma i would come out to this song once.

midnight sesh

ahh, night surfing. i rip.

i need to get this sleeping time zone thing down soon!??

surfing the new vortex of time facebook i ran into pics of my first real person crush. donnie wahlberg is my first celebrity crush, but i feel so bad and want to apologize to my first real person crush, he dealt with it rather gracefully i must say.

i was gross, and he wasn't interested. i felt in my heart we belonged together. i pined for him. the first time i encountered him, i was instantly attracted. poor thing.

fast forward through some strange episodes, and we actually made out twice as a result. ages ago and about a decade apart. LOL. it's so random!!!

anyhoo, from what i could gather from my classmates photos, he's a happy doctor with a hot chick now. i wish him the best and my eternal apologies!!!

on another morbid note, what's wrong with me?! i've been googling things such as "japan train suicides" etc. disturbia.

i now know the song that was tourmenting me from the narita shuttle till i passed out on the plane going to lax. it was the new john legend song. irritating and catchy.

now that i'm home my thoughts drift to distant lands. when i was away my thoughts drifted to pru. i was always wondering what she was doing and wanted to see her triangle face.

facebook

not feeling that online net. after about a month of inactivity, i log on and see friend requests. but it's different, more like "this is your life" different. elementary friends popping out of the woodwork. more intimate. past acquaintances. people i knew when i was going through even more horribly awkward stages if you can imagine that. in terms of awkwardness, i am the queen. pondering deleting my profile, as i have been on the hermit tip of late.

O2

i was grateful for every breath i took in that country. along with the sweet, pristine air, i also sucked in the intangible that give and enrich life. nourishment from air, we cannot live without air. the spirits and energy filled me up, and i was content with the delicious chi that came with simply existing in that space. i came alive with the electricity that manifested from my lungs to my entire being.

the air quality here is questionable. i was enamored by the romantic vibe of ocean's gang and the rat packers of long ago, but i can now detect a stale whiff of desperation that lingers like cigarette smoke. a city that attracts the criminal element and all the feng shui that goes with it. the famed las vegas blvd skyline has somewhat lost it's shiny luster as i venture beneath the glossy exterior.

aftermath

damn, i haven't eaten that good in a long time. 12 years perhaps. i'm crazy for japanese food. perhaps my fav. the spaghetti from the ampm is gourmet. delicious snacks surround. every meal i relished and savored.

i just had roast chicken pringels. along with melon soda hard candy just like how i remembered. nostalgic tastes like jelly fruit candy from my relatives in osaka i got at my grandma's house. it is an old friend. it tickles my tongue and i shiver with delight.

my thoughts drift to a busy intersection in shibuya. wishing i was there in the dodging crowds. walking until your feet hurt, yet you want to walk forever in the streets, people watching and shopping. a lot of ground to cover in a limited time.

or a quiet onsen in machiko, where alkaline cuisine is served on pottery which was our primary reason for the inconvenient trek.

or to the standing udon restaurant under osaka station. turn the corner and you are in hankyu department store that's like a deluxe shirokiya top floor. the food and fruit are delicious. turn the other way and you're at the asnas that sells gari gari popsicles.

or to the pristine, ancient rooms in the numerous temples and castles of shogunate.

to the okonomiyaki restaurant they took us too, the 9 of us filled the seats.

c.c. lemon. calpis. aquarius. mitsuya cider. melon soda. teas.

ohaiyogozaimasu!konichiwa!moshimoshi!konnbanwa!arigatoo!kawaii!ikura desuka?doko ni arimasuka?

essu saizu arimasuka?

something something something urikire something.

ah, sumimasen!

gomenasai.yokata!mada ne?daisuki!hai, kore to.onigaishimasu. gochisosamadeshita.

the synthetic lights from the trains as the played their unique melodies. the shinkansen where we played scrabble (i was leading by 20). the delicious station food.

we're happy you can't buy the new era japanese baseball hats online and mike's solo trip to tokyo station wasn't in vain. i have a grand collection of kitty chan stuff now. the fruit on a stick guy by yurakucho. the nice security guard trying to help us find snobby ono jiro's restaurant by the barkery and the sony building. 0101. 109. nishi ginza.

momo paradise, all you can eat sukiyaki/shabu shabu/heaven. tokyu hands. kiddy land and asbee in harajuku. tea time near the kaiyukan in osaka. buffet near the station. kyoto style lunch box.

the snack shop in ueno (thanks lori). we all had our sushi in ginza anyway with mr. kobayashi. and chinese food with tomoe. and hoto in the only place you can get it, yamanashi. went to the fifth station of fujisan. played with birds and owls nearby the old 500 yen back view.

i regret not buying more books at narita airport. the content fascinated me more than the hudson bookstores in las and lax. and you got an awesome paper jacket.

it oddly felt like home. i was at peace. infinitely happy, grateful and blessed. it's everything i stand for. perfection.

let's all go again soon. please!?

my heart is heavy, warm and full. ipai was the most often word used on the trip. we ate till we were stuffed every meal.

this is the happiest i've been in awhile.

i got to experience these full days in beloved cities and have these wonderful experiences with the people i love the most in the world. it was bliss and i am so grateful for being able to explore a city with them. it was heaven. i wish we lived in the same city forever and it would never end. the distance between us all cripples me. i wish it lasted forever.

homecoming

we've come full circle. it all seems like a distant beautiful dream now...

after a grueling 10 hour flight, i got a cheerful "welcome home!" from the immigration inspector in l.a. caught me off guard and i smiled back. the politeness ended there. pushing and shoving in the airport. brash americans seizing all they survey with brute force. he is i and i is him, slim with the tilted grin. who am i trying to kid? this is my homeland. the language, accent and swagger. be it ever so humble, there's no place like home. back to the amber waves of grain and purple mountain majesties.

sabeshi

all good things must come to an end...i'm dreadfully sad...i've had something to look forward to all year. now it's over :(

a full day of traveling awaits us. we fly high, no lie, you know this. far, far away from the motherland. even though i'm 3 generations removed (sansei) and 3/4ths confirmed japanese (1/4th is m.i.a. - long story), i'm truly a native daughter. just like hawaii has it's aloha spirit, japan has a different spirit. indescribable, but i have it. a combo of the most painfully polite people who are at the same time effortlessly rude. the highest suicide rate of a developed country. there were 3 "accidents" on tokyo trains announced yesterday which holds to the 3 line jumper suicide rates per day average. residents don't blink an eye, but as a gaigin i was shaken up as my imagination flew to dark places from lack of news because it is a common everyday occurrence. how can you be depressed amongst such splendor? so vibrant, yet so morose. i relate to the vivid morbid curiosity. everything is honor code/system here. the descendants of samurai, geisha, ronin etc. flood the streets as life is lived outdoors in the lineal society. a land of paradoxes. a synthetic, genuine society. a place of blinding neon and smiles that warm the heart. *single tear*

we are already planning another trip. backpacking through japan. seems to make more sense then backpacking through europe. my friend and her boyfriend got mugged and he got beat up by a group of teenagers in italy. i wouldn't do the cliche because that crime scared me out of it and lack of convenient rail system. our plan is to get a jr rail pass with 2 light bags so our material possessions won't hold us down like this time. it was a logistical nightmare traveling train to train with these massive suitcases. but we are americans, a young country with much to learn that does things to excess. we'll island hop, and stay where the wind takes us. i can't wait. hopefully we wont wait until the next year of the rat to come here again...

gotta pack then go to the ampm to squirrel away some flan flavored kitkat. then back to sin...

greetings from tokyooooooo

the grand finale!!! we're staying in ginza. love all of japan, but tokyo is the piece de resistance! i'm a kansai girl by heart and origin, but there's something about the energy and electricity of tokyo that thrills me like no other. i'm a city girl. just checking in, i have to see the city even though i'm exausted. it's been a long 3 train ride from tochigi, mashiko, as they proclaimed at the train station, a country town. more to come...

益子 から よろしく

ときょ　生きましょ。　温泉　大好き。　

greetings from kofu

where is kofu you ask? it's pretty remote. next to fuji, it's the capital of yamanashi-ken. country grammar. dueling shamisens. my sister taught 3 years here in the jet program so we are staying with the landlords for a couple days. we took the shinkansen from osaka then the subway to shizuoka, then the fujikawa 9 to kofu where we were the laughing stocks. we were traveling with a billion bags and the mean conductor was being a dick making us play musical suitcases moving it here and there on the empty train. jerk. but now we're here and i feel like i've stepped into an episode of maison ikkoku. manga really does reflect the culture! i semi know what to expect from city to country. despite my manga into, this nation still blows my mind, i am in awe.

greetings from osaka

gotta go soon, but while waiting for checkout, decided to blog a quick holla. i love it here. never want to leave...i am happy and grateful...goodness...

greetings from l.a.

last 3 days were a whirlwind. racing and rushing the clock until departure. at the buzzer i managed to find rail tickets! chee! all while working too. then yesterday worked then went to mike's niece's wedding. she's older than him. saw 2 people from hawaii i knew there and it reinforced how small hawaii really is. at the reception while we were waiting for our table assignment we joked that it's probably in the nosebleeds. they told us we were at table 1. i said to mike, hmm, that doesn't sound like boonie land. sure enough we were at the head table! from supporting role to major player in the wedding! it was random.

i took a 2 hour cat nap because i was exhausted. then woke up at around 3 to pack. mike passed out and told me to wake him up to get omiyage at walmart. he looked so peaceful so i let him sleep and ventured out alone into the scary dark at a scary hour.

it must be from the "first 48" marathons, but i'm increasingly skittish. the newest email hoax is that to be initiated in a gang in vegas you must shoot a woman pumping gas in the head like some sick scavenger hunt.

some dude just left his bags unattended by mine. i should stuff all my drugs in his bags. j/k, i have none and i'm kicking myself for not bringing a clandestine lollipop, but whatever. looks like i'm going about this sober. the crutch is gone and i must depend on a natural high.

so of course at 4 a.m. i have to get gas to run the quick errand, so i pump lighting speed 2 gallons and continue to walmart where all i can find is beef jerky.

mike is back from the bathroom (number 2!) so i'll wrap this up and be social for the rest of the layover. we're going to watch tv on the slingbox which is pretty cool.

suzuku...

jacket

10/11/08 the first real day of winter. it went from 0 to 60. time for covered shoes. or maybe the legwarmers will work?

so starts the cold season. i, however, like a warmer climate. and carbs! i've been eating carbs and wheat like there's no tomorrow. i'm addicted and probably allergic to them and am a true type o that digests proteins the best because i crave them 24/7.

i haven't been getting restful sleep this week. i'm too anxious!!!!!~!

my shuffle list played "big poppa" and "i aint mad at'cha" back to back. are you guys trying to send me a message from beyond?

mercury in retrograde

today at work i sliced the fleshy underside of my right hand with a box cutter while trying to cut a box with it. i howled at a red strip of blood appeared shortly after the incision. there's something super gross about slicing. the reason why paper cuts are a special kind of traumatic.

so my recent daily yoga run stopped at 4 lol. it's a job in itself. drowning in sweat, dodging bossy teachers, rushing to beat the clock.

i was too exhausted after work to do anything. i helped this elderly couple from scottsdale, and they were so sweet. we we're playing "paper moon", and the husband started whistling along and i could tell it put them in a good mood. he was a podiatrist, and they started reminiscing about one of his first jobs as a shoe salesman. he's a foot guy i guess.

the duration of the day for some reason i buried myself in the lame busywork in the backroom.

i need a hair cut! i think after i change my chi like that it will be better. i want to go to my friend, but we can't get it coordinated. at the same time i want to grow my hair hula long, like the look, hate the feel.

i'm not ready for japan!!! feels like there's still alot to do. convert money, rail tickets, pack, find out where to stay in osaka, figure out how to meet up with the fam. important things like that still need to be ironed out. i'm happy to flee the comforting monotany of daily routiene and shake it up.

i've been playing mcdonalds monopoly way too much since it's come out. the fries are deadly sinful. it's a shame how happy they make me. i've been eating too much junk food. had to make a note to self not to go to the jack in the box drive through next to my house after recognizing the drive through attendant from yesterday. i looked and felt like a crazy cat lady bachelorette and covered my face with my dodger in a lame attempt of going incog.

the good life

got to take prupru to a dog park we've always been meaning to take her to, and a sweet surprise was her cousin sasha a mini schnauzer was there at her daily haunt. they recognized each other immediately after months of no contact. they we're so energetic and seeing them play happily made my heart smile. we'll try to take her more often.

then polished off a #3 meal from in n out in convincing fashion.

kikyo/kagome

the relationship between kikyo and kagome in inuyasha captivates me. the reincarnate dealing with her predecessor who now has to steal souls to exist because her soul is now in kagome. kikyo is a tragic figure. a benevolent shell left to wander feudal, mystical japan after a series of horrific events lead to her demise. her only fault was being a priestess that has to fight for good.

if my bro and i say the same thing at the same time one more time, i'm going batty. one day we showed up wearing the same outfit even! well it was a wife beater which isn't that uncommon of a shirt, but nonetheless it was weird. i like wearing white wife beaters. it's part of my cross dressing fetish. if i were a drag king (which i kind of am mildly), my name would be caesar salad. hahaha. but i digress. he's kagome to my kikyo. it's like we're the same soul in two bodies. i've gone from thinking he's my soul little brother to my reincarnate. but i'm not dead yet! well, maybe a little behind the eyes.

not again

when's the last time you've heard of a booming, prosperous, stable, soild american economy? i'm sick of all the bad economic news. i guess it's easier to report and write about the negative on small and big scales. why is that?

teachers

as i take more classes, there's about a handful of teachers i avoid at yoga. because i've had issues with authority my whole life, i'm hyper sensitive to instruction. the teachers i respond to are pretty cut and dry, and the only time they stray from the script is to give encouragement. i need the super positive guru. some believe it or not point out some students and hold up the entire class to wait for the student to move a microinch into the posture that the casual student (which we all pretty much are) will always strive to perfect because honestly, there is no perfection in those postures. you can always be straighter or stronger, that's the beauty of yoga, perfection is unattainable, yet motivating. you can always be better. they can pick out flaws in every person in the room, so why do it? why be negative?

anyway, some are drill sergeants, and they put me in a bad state of mind. stop barking at us! even if it's not me they're calling on, i want to tell them to leave the people they're picking on alone. i'll say something if they become a monkey on my back, so they resent my willfulness. but now that they post the teachers online, i avoid them so we're all happy.

too bad about the stupid teachers though. baffles my mind that they choose to conduct their class that way. they fail, choose a new livelihood, teaching is not for you. it makes all the difference in the world.

autopilot

substance abuse might be catching up to me like all the medical field says, but i've been here physically but not mentally. i shouldn't blame the substances, my whole life i've been like that just when sugar was my only vice. in flight or fight, one defense they have failed to mention is glaze over. i'll transcend my body and miss what just happened on earth. baffles me and my company when i snap out of the daze and have to ask for the recap. i was there in body but my space cowboy mind was traipsing through Lord knows where. i hope my representative subconscious was on their best behavior.

what's real and what's reality anymore? buddha say, "with our thoughts we shape the world".

how to lose friends and alienate people

i can be very negative and chaotic at times. a ball of darkness and fear. this is why i withdraw and need to be alone. i don't like interacting with people when i'm in such a mood. i hate it. i want to be happy and on all the time. ready for public access. when i retreat from the world it's because i have to ride out my negativity storm. i guess the cliche is wrong, misery doesn't love company. it's stuff that i have to work through alone so i don't offend anyone and have them think less of me.

there's an anger in me i can identify. probably had it all my life. i was an unpleasant child at times and remember hellish situations due to me being a terrible person. am i good?

i want to be good person, i do, i do. like anakin skywalker. all roads of deep life reflection lead to star wars.

what is a good person? mike is a good person. i could tell and he confirmed that he has always been the popular kid. people are just drawn to him. he is positive, scary smart, successful, happy, confident and accomplished. everyone wants him in his corner. he's a powerful and enlightened person. a true dragon. he hardly needs time away from everyone. my days off i could sleep all day and just exist in a room doing "nothing". aloofness and peace.

i have a gift for seeing good in people and appreciating it. yet i can't analyze myself or see some of my goodness. the flaws are the things that stand out. and it makes me sad. which is probably the source that plummets me into the depths of despair. i hate being paranoid of myself. blah.

little miss clumsy

goes to a wedding.

yesterday i attended mike's high school friend's wedding at a mansion near southern highlands called the virtuvian man-sion. lol. i didn't see the davinci code influnces though. i was really clutzy. almost fell and by the grace of God didn't and i managed to recover after spilling half my drink. it would have been super fucked up if i fell in front of everyone. i still turned bright red though.

it was outdoors and the sweat starting to cover my face. i seldom wear eye makeup and the combo of sweat and makeup was making my eyes tear uncontrolably. it looked like i was crying because of the wedding. they were probably thinking "who brought this weirdo, crying and she doesn't even know us".

turning japanese

in 1996 i could appreciate japan, and i thought it was awesomly overwhelming and tubular. i thought everything there was high tech, beautiful, gracious and graceful. i didn't want to leave. i still don't.

yukio mishima

his works resonate. his life touches mine. an eccentric artist.

kalihi

my grandparents ran a mom and pop in early japanese issei kalihi, where the post office is now. tonight my friends parents were hanging out and i found out they were classmates with my aunties. she knew my family well! amazing. said my grandma was chubby! lol. and she remembered my dad from 50 plus years ago. she remembers a tall big guy, unusual for a japanese guy that generation. her mom still lives in that neighborhood. funny how 3 generations of my family randomly crossed their paths.

inuyasha

first saw this episode around 06ish? the stories of rumiko takahashi (ranma 1/2, lum, maison ikkoku, inuyasha etc) have been entertaining me since 94ish? i was 15 or 14 when i discovered her. she penned lum in 78, the same year i was. all in all, she's the motherfucking shit. she always delivers. i guffaw at least once every so often and i feel like i'm there in the fantasy. she has a zany sense of humor, and a touch of the philosophical.

i want kat von d to tatt ranma on me. probably girl form. i was/am a big comic book geek the majority of my life and that will never change. like with jamiroquai. i don't understand it either, but we all need things to cling to in this world/life.

everyone is up here randomly this weekend from hawaii. like a mini reunion. are they really here to ambush me with an intervention?

i can't imagine life without japanamation/anime/manga. in a sense, it's as essential to my life as air. like shoes and other fetishes/obsessions/addictions.

anemia

my whole life i've bruised easily like an overripe peach. it's not uncommon for me to sport massive bruises on my ghastly pale skin and not know how i've gotten them. it doesn't look like abuse because of the peculiar patterns and places. i was trying on shoes and the bruises we're hella distracting from the task at hand. my coworker looked all spooked and said it's from a ghost. when ghosts touch you, they don't even have to press hard, they leave a bruise. greeeeaaaaaattttt.

on my right leg it looks like fingertips in the shape of an s. she asked me if anyone significant to me died with the letter s in their name. there's my grandma, sophie, and my ex, who's still alive but dead to me. one day we might make peace, actually, it's just me that needs to make peace, he's all about it. but i don't think in this lifetime we can coexist. sad to say, i'd like to think of myself as a somewhat mature and compassionate human. and i'm not in love with him anymore. but the thought of him just nauseates me!!!

i've had these bruises my whole life. is it the same ghost following me my whole life? or a different one? or just an iron deficiency?

melting moments

there are times when i'm on the poker table virtual or real where a random 1 outer or something lame like that comes letting the other person suck out and they stack me etc. hits me like a sledgehammer to my skull, cracking my cranium, mushy brains seep out. when it happens at that instant i hate life and want to die. it's the only thought in my head. sheerly suicidal. then a lapse into a brief depression and finally a reevaluation of life. a trilogy. it's only temporary of course, i'm not going to kill myself. but it's a glimpse of the pain and horror that drives people to do it. and damn it's real.

then there's moments where i love life and want to live. it's easier to blog about the bad stuff for some reason.

i ordered this shirt from urban outfitters of a cartoony picture of tupac's all eyes on me album cover. and my camo dodger, i was super westside yesterday. it's a hard look to pull off, and at times i felt sheepish, but i pushed through it and thought wwtd and tried to channel his spirit. everyone in the poker room called me tupac. which felt natural to respond to and oddly made me feel giddy. and to the people i didn't know on the table, i was from l.a. being from hawaii, a fun game i like to play is i'm repping this team today. i have yankees to giants and everyone in between. still have yet to get the oriole though, that's my blood.

it might be because i had to wear uniforms in elementary, but my daily clothes are becoming more and more like borderline costumes. maybe it's also due to living in vegas, it's a masquerade ball here.

have to go to a wedding and i want to wear crossdressing gangster chic. suspenders and slacks instead of buttons and bows. one thing i'm not is a girly girl.

hip hop honors

"The cable channel will count down its list in series of shows starting Monday. At No. 2 is the Sugar Hill Gang's groundbreaking song, "Rapper's Delight," followed by Dr. Dre's "Nuthin but a 'G' Thang" at No. 3. Run-D.M.C.'s "Walk This Way" with Aerosmith and Grandmaster Flash & the Furious Five's "The Message" round out the top five.
Salt 'N Pepa was the only female act in the top 10, with their early hit "Push It." Two of rap's biggest names — Jay-Z and Eminem — didn't make the top 10, though they are in the top 20.
Other acts on the list include the Notorious B.I.G., Tupac, Snoop Dogg, Biz Markie, Black Sheep and J.J. Fad." - vh1 or something.


rapper's delight?

this day in history widget

Vasco Núñez de Balboa Reaches Pacific Ocean (1513)

i remember doing a diaorama on this cat from portugual out of fimo and a shoe box. it was to my reebok or l.a. gear sneakers. it was fourth or fifth grade. 1987 ish?

in 10th grade i wrote a 10 page paper on tecumseh for american history with mr. schaeb.

11th grade a report on hunan, yunan etc for asian studies?

georgia in 7th grade geography with the legendary father halter.

do we ever get to apply such academia in our real lives?

yoga

been twice since the breakdown in oksana's class and it's been okay. i was pleased i could last and didn't lose face again.

oval, since these shoes are back in my life i haven't really worn anything else. thee best shoes in the entire world to ever be created. i can't return them, what was i thinking?!

japan...

...ese porn!

there's a big bag o' porn on the table in the living room. like everyone else, i'll peruse free porn. watching the japanese porn there's a special element of hentai or tsukebe american porn just can't replicate. thank goodness.

gonna try and get motivated to get back on the bucking horse that is bikram yoga. bucked me off and i get the reins and jump up and start horse whispering. neigh whinny.

why was i so fatigued? if i can't make it i'm going to lose face and commit harakiri.

i've been scattered brained and more space cadety than usual.

why did i eat all that popcorn?

not a fan of looking at people in the face while having a conversation.

knocked the eff out

yoga kick my ass today for the first time! i've always been stoked that i picked up bikram relatively easily. able to withstand 90 minutes of hell to get to heaven. i have no idea what happened. 10 minutes into it, i was the wuss that had to sit after the first water break. i felt so pathetic and dizzy. couldn't breathe or stand straight. the perephial was darkening.

what does that mean? can i complete a class again? i felt so embarassed. chagrin. my friend dubbed me the dj name dj cringer.

my lil bro needs a job, but the hair test will be a doozy. he keeps a bong in his car. in a twisted way, i admire and relate to that kind of stuff. hardcore! who feels it knows it. he's funny. brosephs are hard to find. i think he should be a contributer to high times.

i put on

it feels like mad max beyond thunderdome here. i've never actually seen the movie, but kinda get the gist from the buzz when it first came out in the 80s. it's become what people in the 80s thought was futuristic. same as it ever was. where's my flying car?

we're trapped in a wasteland. harsh elements. manmade skylines and artificial beauty. surrounded by stark bleakness. there's beauty in the nature of the place still. opposite of my lush, bountiful hawaii. yesterday the sunset made me pause. gasp from the beauty of the colors in the sky. muted, unreplicable. fleeting and gold. pale. hawaii's sky is vivid and vibrant. the blue almost crushes and overpowers you. i want to eat it.

my whole life i have to live near popular tourist meccas. my humdrum is their vacation.

napoleon dynamite

no movie takes me back to 2004 more. i'm blasted back to 4 years ago. a pivotal year.

oval saga

spoke too soon about those shoes. ripping after the 1st wear. was going to return them, but when it came down to it, i couldn't let them go. lol. a sweeping epic love story. a girl and her shoes.

i'm feeling so anti, the opposite of lonely. not in the company opposite way, but the feeling bad about being alone way. running towards solitude. fortifying the shell. i should be out and about, it's saturday night in sin city baby! but all i feel is regret i didn't go to yoga. where is my going out and socializing motivation???

so i stay home like a dork. this can't be normal.

reunited

and it feels so good. i thought they were gone forever. they're baaa-aack! guess who's back, back again, oval's back, tell a friend. my loves. i never thought i could bond with shoes so much. but these make me smile. i've got sunshine on a cloudy day. we got a limited run of these bad boys, and i picked up mine today.

wastedspace

since i've started coming here i've finally stopped chasing the dragon for good! i have finally fallen out of love with myspace! now i only browse briefly to stalk a little and keep up with the joneses. my time there was primarily blog driven, a public soapbox. but i'm not as attention whorey as i originally thought. i'm becoming more private vastly this year. good to have some mystery. or no mystery at all. i fluctuate from thinking people are great kumbaya i'd like to buy the world a coke, to jean paul sartre's no exit hell is other people don't enter my bubble. then i mull and blog.

craigslist

Wry Journalist Needed for New Magazine (Vegas Area)
9-12-08
Please submit writing samples. Looking for examples of cynicism and humor in the spirit of Hunter S. Thompson. Resume not important. The magazine will be available in bars around town and their patrons will be our primary readers. Selected writer will be given assignments as they come.
Location: Vegas Area
Compensation: $10 per hour and publication
This is a part-time job.
This is an internship job
Principals only. Recruiters, please don't contact this job poster.
Please, no phone calls about this job!
Please do not contact job poster about other services, products or commercial interests.


dare i? should i even dream? postings like this that makes me want to puke. i feel so out of sorts and panicky. i'm not going to answer. keep to myself. what else is there to do? nothing and nothingness.

é

i've finished my resumeeé, or resume as i think of it. resuming to the drawing board. i'm at the starting gates, and starting to feel like i'm going to be stuck there the whole race...losing hope...drowing...sucumbing...

faith and hope are strange things. not to mention kick ass names. i'm partial to virtue names. but having them (the feelings not the names) can really mess with you. it's anticipatory in nature, and it's the waiting that can kill you. do things happen because or despite of? does it punish or reward?

it plummets me in a familiar, temporary depression. what legacy will i leave? why am i here?

annual september topics

12 years, tupac gone, absence felt.

um football. mannn, losing to nd?!
osu football. yay they got smashed by usc!
uh football. ...
redskins football. whoa i wrote them off in the 3rd. good comeback!

happy bday both pair of ants (parents)!

wtf

world taekwondo federation

as i was driving to get some jack in the crack a car whizzed by about 5 seconds in front of me in the cross street when they were supposed to break to the stop sign. i felt nausated and bad thoughts went through my head. i'm glad i paused for 5 seconds as i was leaving the house.

gold

i was talking to my coworker's 9 year old the other day about the upcoming jessie mccarthy or what ever that young whippersnapper's name is concert this saturday. we also talked about her littlest pet shop and going to kaybee toy store and it finally hit me that i wasn't a kid anymore. an epiphany of sorts if you will. she was so cute, young and innocent. i remember what those days were like and they were the most carefree, fun and light. i miss it but you can never go back.

innocent ones and the most beautiful people in the world. with the loss of innocence, there's the gain of wisdom. it's like being let into a party finally. finally getting a lewd joke and getting a good laugh off of it. becoming an expert and resource. the wisdom comes from experiencing bad and evil and becoming acquainted with them. children are hopefully shielded from the cruelness of the adult world by their guardians and gatekeepers. as you gain independence, you come in contact with stark realities in a competitive state of nature. it can embitter. but with the bitterness comes experiencing and exploring feelings and thoughts not previously known and available. wisdom and the tools to avoid the bad in the world.

next month

i'm going going back back to honshu honshu. i'm so excited to taste foreign soil for the first time in 12 years.

i really hope barack obama wins. if he doesn't i might have to move to australia or something. oh i don't know, but i have that feeling of dread when bush was elected twice. it's been a dark 8 years.

i love the u.s. though, like i said we're the best in the world because we are the whole world. it's a multicultural society where other countries are more monocultural. the diversity is the biggest strength. by the 3rd gen we are super american and patriotic. or totally apathetic. or somewhere in between. or d: all of the above simultanously.

2008 vmas

lil wayne and tpain just put it down for the south. the south has risen again! ny, la, and now the dirty. t.i. too. britney, jeezy, dream, chris breezy etc this is the year of the southern sound.

woah did you see the pussycat dolls acceptance speech? am i high or was that wack? am i hating?

3 strikes and you're out lean cuisine lasagne new recipe. hits me wrong. they added caraway and cut back on the ricotta. the sauce is orangy instead of red. like pom and or berry smells. i like pomegranate, but can't stand the limited edition orbit pom gum. i gave away a new pack to the store where it will be picked apart vulture style. lol.

i like how the 50s are coming back with kensley from project runway and katy perry leading the way. i like to think i started the whole thing though halloween 2007 at tao i was a sock hop girl with the oxfords and everything. i have still to download the pics. one day. i fricken love the retro looks now. what i wear to work the most these days are menswear (vests and pants etc) like how michael corleone dressed everyday. i'm a crossdresser and it's kind of funny how women can wear men's clothes, but it's generally frowned upon the reversed in uptight societies.
when we're finally angrodgnyous cyborgs maybe that will change. or maybe we won't need clothes at all.

the choice of venue has been criticized, but i like that they chose the paramout studios. the live video concept is clever and entertaining.

seeing taylor swift and miley cyrus etc refering christing aguilera and britney spears as legends makes me feel super old. madonna and michael are dinosaurs and myth.

glorified streching

i hate crying. it's painful for all senses. traumatic. bikram yoga is like giving your whole body a whole weep. i especially dislike when your fingers get pruney because you're soaked. gross.

i was sleeping and my mom burst in the room saying, "joy, wake up, we're under attack!" and i bolted up, confused. she turned on the t.v. and gave me the rundown. we stared at the news, speechless.

when i arrived on campus, the few that did show up hovered around the big t.v. in the campus center as did i.

it's still too soon, 7 years later and it's hard to find words to describe it. there are no words.

it's hard to watch the footage from this day, but it's our responsibility as a living, compassionate human being to bear witness in tragedies. it's the very least we can do.

c'mon aileen

start the day off with a call from an elderly gentleman from what it sounded like and the content of the call asking if we sold penny loafers. the ones with the slit for the pennies. made me realize i haven't seen any in years and it would be good to vintage it back. we talked about my pair in the 80s, and he went even more old school. started talking about tap dance things that were put on the loafers. why i don't know, but he spoke of it in a fondly nostalgic tone so it must have been cool.

helped 3 sweet ladies from australia. while i was ringing them up, a lady came to the reg with daggers because she was waiting to be helped. she started talking to the aussies. it was strange, she was a kiwi, sounded kind of like they have an east side west side thing going on in the pacific rim.

my brazilian coworker came from the pretzel shop and bought a pretzel dog. what disturbed me was she was dipping it in cream cheese!

had that horrible recurring nightmare to boot. woke up in a panic. same ol song. last semester of class. class i've been neglecting and have no idea what's going on. one i will inevdiably fail. it's too late to withdraw. it hinders me from getting my degree.

i'm sick of seeing these ships sail. once you turn 30 it's like releasing a fleet. i'm a one woman navy.

currently i'm 5th in a $11 tourney. 909 entrants and 182 left. i'm tired.

raisin bran crunch: buy me some, mom! lol

update: 2nd out of 160, help me bambi (our bamboo plant)! oh, number one now, the leader must have lost a pot.

help/hinder

yet some more dualism. or maybe it's just what happens once you turn 30.

it's been real the past month doing yoga at least twice a week. i've lost some weight and i've been fitting in clothes better (knock on wood). hopefully it will help me get in the shape i've always dreamed but could never accomplish.

but ow, my back son! 2 classes ago while doing balancing stick, something tweaked in my back. and i've been walking gingerly ever since. hard to bend over too. shouldn't it strengthen?

looking at the writing job part of craigslist depresses me. i would love to blog for a living, but am not classical, mainstream, palatable, or commerical enough. i get that just from reading the description of what they're looking for. *shrugs*

tv

the bulk of my t.v. viewing is lighthearted, sweet "jon and kate plus 8" and bleak, stark "the first 48". and cringeworthy "intervention". now the o.g. star wars is on spike and it looks great. soothing to the eyes. like an icepack.

enigma

i have no idea why recently mike has turned into a recluse. he hardly goes out in vegas. i go without him and it' s a strange, different dynamic. everyone including me wishes he would make a cameo and are puzzled by the absence.

irking

don't put the same song as his on your page. myspace c.s.i. move on, he has!

virgo

i don't believe in horoscopes or astrology. except what they say about virgos. that's probably the only sign that's true to form. they are the only ones i can spot a mile away and fit their description. the organized, neat, perfectionist thing. traits i lack and admire i pick up on when someone has it. when i see such an indivdual i ask when they're born, and sure enough it's during late august to early september.

my mom is a textbook virgo. so much attention to detail. she would get caught up in stuff i'd never give another thought to, till she brought it up because it was bothering her.

happy birthday you crazy psychos!

(j/k)

save the feet

ladies, i emplore you, buy stuart weitzman shoes (from me). i have field tested them (and work on comission). take last saturday for example. we were getting our party hard on. haha, i typed hard on. after "jersey boys" at the palazzo, settled in for a long night at 50's the bank. set up camp for 3 hours of dancing and promanading. fran and i who were wearing the same 5" platform ankle strap shoes named juty were the last ones standing. i could recognize and empathize the pained expressions on theresa and cathy's faces. as soon as they hit carpet (dirty hotel carpet) the shoes were off. i was on the verge of projectile exorcist barfing, but my feet felt like a dream. i could run a marathon in those.

i'm luke skywalker i'm here to rescue you, buy good shoes! they're worth it, they're your feet, your dogs. unless you're into s&m and like to start off the kinky night by punishing your feet, buy stuart weitzman shoes, they are the shit. they're amazing! the aldo/nine west etc shoes may save you money and look cute, but you have to also take into account the price you pay for pain and suffering.

day 2 was no different. it's so good to be mobile, tall and fashionable at the same time. thank you stu! it's a gift to the world. after the barf sesh and some 2 hours of uneasy sleep, i was jostled awake by my phone, i was supposed to open at work when i thought i was supposed to close. oops, luckily i crashed at mgm and was only like 20 minutes late grabbing a cab as my car was still at palazzo and we had to have an afterschool special about driving drunk in the back of the cab. i, of course, wanted to drive, but it's good that i didn't i guess. had to work hanging, then met up with them at craftsteak back at the mgm for some bomb ass food. i love red meat, thinking about becoming a meatatarian.

two pimp downs after dinner and it was just cathy and me. had that "we'll only go out a short while, just to show face," conversation, and it ended up to be another 6 in the mornin night. moon then scores. hung out with mike's friends sans mike. everyone was in party hard mode, i wanted to be on the same level, but i was still tipsy from last night. i had to decline. plus i was trying to drive home, looked fun though. i love moon at the palms! one of my favs of all time. first club i've been to in vegas, it was spanking new too. feels like home.

it's always a chaotic good time when l.a. comes to l.v. i wish we all lived in the same city. i wouldn't be able to see them as much if i still lived in hawaii though. vegas has summoned us, has pulled us magnetically in it's direction. as it does to a lot of hawaii people. the siren song beckons and calls.

90210 2.0

it's disturbing that the kids from b hills have come full circle and are now adults. they were highschoolers when i was in highschool. i feel like i'm trapped in a time warp and my mindstate is frozen. i can relate to my friends in their early 20s even though i can't believe i was ever that young logistically being that i was once so long ago in a land far away. not ready to grow up. forever 21.

i was reading my 28 year old friend's 30 things to do before 30, and in the past year she's tacked 9 off her list, that's some progress! my 30 before 30 list? yeah, i'm gonna have to take a mulligan on some of those. the bulk of it actually. oh well, next time i suppose.

i'm looking at trashy.com for my halloween costume. it's that time of year to ho it up. i was a whore 50s sock hop girl last year. this year it's either going to be a ho police officer, ho boxer or a ho wednesday addams.

current mood: hopeful

colt brennan + redskins = ...?...!?

disgruntled employee

a copy of the email i wrote today. i was going for "pissed off, yet still professional":

My direct deposit is still not working. What do we need to do to make it go through? I was told it would work this pay period. 4 pay periods ago I was told it would go through. What needs to be done? Do you need any more information from me? When will it go through? I should not have to come in on my day off to pick up my check when I have been told my direct deposit would go through. When will it work?

Joy

joylympics

beijing left a mark. i was glad to be alive and human while watching them. seemed like there was more drama than most games. u.s. sprinters not dominating, perhaps due to strict drug tests. a more level playing field and we got our ass kicked. what's up with dropping batons?

china is going to be all up on our grill in london '08. the united states should always be on top because we are a melting pot. the world on a smaller scale. our ambitious ancestors had to trail blaze and legacy leave. we are the fruits. team america, f*ck yeah!

hawaii is the top of the top because it's even more diverse. we are the world, we are the children. let's all join hands around the campfire for a verse of kumbaya.

'cause we are the champions

of the world!

little league that is. hey not to be a bummer, but it kind of is, but with hawaii's dominance in little leauge baseball, you'd think that baseball's next superstars would be coming from hawaii in droves, yet it seems they are peaking at the tweens. hmm.

but awesome job in being the world champs! the first time it happened was ewa beach in '05 so perhaps we'll see the talent on the main stage soon. maybe i'm being impatient. waiting for a hawaiian superman to root for in the majors!

i'm totally chomping at the bit to go to japan, i can't wait! super excited. i'm jealous of myself in the future.

should i go to bikram after my laundry is done? this is day 8 of work straight, one more day after this then i'm off. 1-9pm, sucks! i've been going to bikram a lot to counter this (and also to counter the immense amounts of food i've been shoveling in the direction of my mouth), then i pass out from the full days. seeking sensations just checking to see if i'm still alive.

city scapes

ever since we changed the cd to "city scapes" work has become quasi bearable. that and blogging at work lol. "that rainy day is here", astrud gilberto croons.

numbers

0 - zero, z, nothing, round circle

1 - the lonliest number, first, top, pinnacle

2 - binary dualism, bi polar, yin and yang, evil and good, positive and negative, conflict

3 - the power of 3 wiccan, trinity, amigos, musketeers, blind mice, little pigs

everything in the world is all numbers. math is soverign. 2 is the answer.

living room

pru claiming chad for spain jawa style.

zai jian, beijing

xie xie. tai hao le.

i'm sad, gonna miss the olympics. i didn't watch athens and atlanta. barcelona was the only other one i watched. nagano. lillehammer. i missed the closing ceremony, caught it whilst they were interviewing the gold medalist in vault. darn, i wanted to peep it, directed by zhang yimou, one of my favorite directors. ralph lauren did an awesome job with the american sportswear. i was digging the window display and the prep style. i remember when it was announced '08 would be in beijing it seemed so far away in the future. now it's over. everyone loves an athelete. people flock to them because they are so apt and skilled. beacons of humanity. mastering and conquering the physcial relm is attractive.

888

vancouver in 18 months, eh!!!

they should have them in the best city in the entire world one day.

honolulu

of course!!!

hawaii's the best in the world, starting with little league! we run this!

al bundy

oh al...as peg would say in a shrill tone. i feel your dolor exquisite, a biting pain know by service industriers around the world. temporary menial jobs. droning day in and day out. for lack of anything better to do.

ha! had to stop there because i was writing this at work and someone came out from the back.

las vegas is a service town. like honolulu. tourism is the main commodity. i was talking to my bro about crappy bosses, a common thing here. you know why? to get ahead here in legit jobs, management etc, i'll tell you the secret and what they look for. douchebagginess. if you're a douche, you qualify getting ahead here. once you become a fake, lame chauncey, you're ready for that promotion!

his bosses name is matt, who's portly, so he calls him fat matt in his head. he was questioning if he should have punched him, but i told him, it was a good idea he didn't (uh, yeah). it's unusual seeing him riled up, as he's a stoner.

at the same time, i wanna clock my "boss" too, but that's a thinly veiled secret. her work is horrible. she's fleecing the company because she's salary, but always makes excuses coming late and leaving early. that's just one example of the immense bs she puts us through. she's always sick (sick=hungover). i just can't be fake and smile in her face, so it's hindering me.

this job has served up much humble pie. blarney stone. the meek shall inherit the earth. meek?

just waiting for tyler durden to unite us menial drones...

motherland

japan is calling! tickets are bought!

(hope the renewed passport comes soon!!!)
*crosses fingers*

it should be awesome! 12 years is too long, but the world is so big, it's hard to take a major trip to the same place.

high hand

people were being douchebags about the parking, the only solace i had while i simmered in my car lurking was timing is everything. maybe i was delayed to have the right hand at the right time or play the right slot etc. lo and behold i find a space in the front row after i gave up stalking the people leaving at what seemed like a glacial pace.

i walk into the southpoint poker room with an air of anticipation. i see mike and kendall sitting on the 1-2 no limit sitting next to eachother and i go to sweat them. check out mike's new game on his phone and wait for a seat. mention the spades royal flush high hand is at 5k and let's hit it i say with a chuckle. i've never had a royal flush in my life, and it had to be the spades, as the other hands weren't as profitable.

a half hour after i get a seat and some lackluster hands, i hear a yelp over my blasting ipod that gets my attention. the dealer motions to me, "isn't that your boyfriend?" and i look over. i rush over and ask the table, "who hit it?" ryan answers, "chow of course."

who flops spade royal flushes? who? you're gross. and the right one. grossiness.

i on the other hand bomb out on the 2-4 limit, but then go to the wicked awesome star wars penny slot for a half hour of bonusussus. bonae? lando was hooking that shit up with free spins at cloud city. colt 45, works every time. what ever happened to billy dee?

blog

all bloggers have to pay hommage to lady murasaki, one of the first bloggers with pizzazz. she was chagrined when her diary was brought to light, but it is a favor to the world that it was.

hunter s. thompson and his gonzo journalism and drug delirium is another great blogger before the word was invented.

the thing about addicts is they are sensational and sensual. they thrive on sensations. they turn to substances with the goal to enhance, numb or lose conciousness. anywhere but the state they are in. they need to leave their mind and the sensory state they are in. reality vs. fantasy.

some inspiring blogs of note are "honolulu nightlife diaries" and "chooseourownadventure.com"

prudence

dogs are pure. their minds and actions are unfiltered. no alterior motives. perhaps the ultimate charvakas. the now and the moment is the soverign. hedonists too. pleasure and pain and soverigns.

but it is just our human brains superimposing and anthropormorphizing these noble traits on to our best friends?

shari and i were talking the other day at the pru fan club meeting. pru is an adorable mini weenie made of goodness and sunshine. shari is our neighbor, dogwalker and pru fan. when speaking of pru, you do it through a smile. shari is a world of warcraft gamer player and we were saying how pru is a healer spirit like some characters in shari's wow game. it's ironic that little prudence is named after a fire starter with telekinesis.

looking into pru's tiny almond eyes in her triangle shaped head, you just feel better. except mike, he's a robot that doesn't like cute little puppies. everyone else is members in the pru fan club. pfc 4 life!

radio killa

it's the remix killa. i i iiiii.

i was lurking on myspace and visited the page of a stripper chick that mike used to date back in the day (i frequently stalk everyone on myspace c.s.i.) and she changed her headline. the first words were "NOT A...hater" and it goes on, but the first 3 words made me lol. she is so a hater! i experienced it first hand. witness to the hatertude. she was talking mad smack for no reason, i never even met her. i think that qualifies as a hater. you're such a hater, you don't even know it. it's hilarious that it's the first 3 words of her headline. is it something she has to deny on a regular basis and her guilt surfaced in her myspace page? river in egypt? the lady doth protests too much.

i love how some people put themselves out there. weird "a" game. myspace is hours of entertainment.

what's weirder is over the years i've made a few haters and enemies just by whom i've dated. those girls couldn't let go at the time and their pain produced libel and slander. the haters are uncoincidentaly all top friends with eachother. and i'm friends by chance with their enemies that they hate on for no reason. it is as if the division was inevidable and the natural order of hawaii local politics. when they see me their lovely faces are marred by ugly scowls. make that face long enough and it will stay that way.

flava

famished, but nothing is palatable. starving, but nothing can satiate. everything tastes bland. creature of habit comfort food doesn't work all of a sudden. what can appease this appetite? something unexperienced and exotic? goji, acai, pomegranate?

cupcakery?

gonna eat it already

untouched, the trio of sugary badness sits in frigid neglect. one more day, they're going to be missing a half via me. my mouth is watering as i type this.

grillz

...still thinking about inhaling those fricken cupcakes. wtf.



which probably brought on all that tooth decay over the past 7 years since i last saw a dentist. it was an odessey, but now i don't have to see the dentist in 3 months! whew! there was a lot of dread and appointments, but we finally got it to an okay place. teeth are delicate and important. i am grateful for my teeth. don't go through what i did. brush, floss, and see your dentist regularly.

oh hum hum drum. trite, mundane, pedestrian, banal, cliche.

temptation

there are 3 beautiful, shining, heaven sent cupcakes from the cupcakery in our refrige. they appeared this morning. i left, hoping they'd be gone the time i got back. but i'm back and there they are, calling me. who's are they? why aren't they eating them? cupcakes don't really and shouldn't have a long shelflife.

bikram yoga gypsy war (a miniseries)

congrats yoga gypsies, you have bested me yet again. i think i'm ahead, but you have pulled the rug out from under me. the gypped was the gyspy, then the gypped again. wiley minxes!

(for story up to this point, check my myspace blog)

round 3 *ding ding*

so i signed my life away for their direct deposit plan. $100 initial one time fee sign up and $89 a month unlimited there after. they tried to get the $20 from that class i took and skeedaddled out of, but it was rightfully free because i had 2 of my friends sign up and that was there promotion, for each friend signed up at your referral, you get a free class. i didn't have the ticket so i bounced when they confronted me, the sweat let me slide out the blocked door effortlessly.

(ok maybe you don't have to check the myspace blog, that was pretty much the whole rundown)

official sign ups later, they conceded and was like, ok, don't worry about that class. duh!

then i see in august, 3 days after my signup in july, they have an august initial fee special, $48!!!

jerks.

greensleeves

ever since i've heard this song circa 1981 i lovededed it. i remember as a mere lass the impact it had. it's foggy, being that i was 3ish, but i do remember it vaugely. my sister used to take harp lessons and she was learning it and i thought "what a delightful ditty!" and it has enchanted me since. it's the r&b of the 14th century. the message is still the same. a forlorn tale of unrequited love. yet the singer waits, perhaps in vain.


greensleeves

Alas, my love, you do me wrong,
To cast me off discourteously.
For I have loved you well and long,
Delighting in your company.

Chorus:
Greensleeves was all my joy
Greensleeves was my delight,
Greensleeves was my heart of gold,
And who but my lady greensleeves.

Your vows you've broken,
like my heart,
Oh, why did you so enrapture me?
Now I remain in a world apart
But my heart remains in captivity.

chorus

I have been ready at your hand,
To grant whatever you would crave,
I have both wagered life and land,
Your love and good-will for to have.

chorus

If you intend thus to disdain,
It does the more enrapture me,
And even so,
I still remain
A lover in captivity.

chorus

My men were clothed all in green,
And they did ever wait on thee;
All this was gallant to be seen,
And yet thou wouldst not love me.

chorus

Thou couldst desire no earthly thing,
but still thou hadst it readily.
Thy music still to play and sing;
And yet thou wouldst not love me.

chorus

Well, I will pray to God on high,
that thou my constancy mayst see,
And that yet once before I die,
Thou wilt vouchsafe to love me.

chorus

Ah, Greensleeves, now farewell,
adieu,
To God I pray to prosper thee,
For I am still thy lover true,
Come once again and love me.

chorus

class of '08

even though we're in the middle of it, 2008 still seems like a sci fi fairy tale number way into the future. you would think at least our music would not be "the dance floor silly, the ladies gon feel me, etc, get silly (X8)" but alas it is. i can't even dance to it drunk it's so bad.

here's to some of the good new music i can c-walk to and be impressed with (the list is way short). gen y is dropping the cool ball. along with music, just look at golf. there is no one in gen y to challenge gen xer tiger woods. no young hope.

1. david banner from the south has sick beats and a sound of his own.
2. lil' wayne is what soljah boy tries to be. lazy ass rhymes and delivery, random, weird with a sense of humor.
3. the american dream is the love child of akon and tpain. he has a fresh perspective, doesn't keep sing about the same oh baby oh baby, but brings different topics to the bedroom not previously discussed.
4. chris breezy brown is a new and improved version of usher. i never liked usher. he was not that hot to be that cocky. but chris brown is hotter and less cocky! and he's all over the spectrum. love that he dabbled in a e-bomb club song "forever". there's something for everyone.
5. the game understands and is from the same old skool vein which a lot of these cats are synthetic where game is authentic. i'm a sucker for the west side and game is doing it the best of the next generation.
6. keyshia cole is the truth, she is the new lady of soul. aretha then mary j then now kiki as i like to call her. i have a set of twins in the sims i've dubbed keyshia and cole. they're cute!

there's hope. some substance in the wasteland.